生　産　？
誰のために
何のために
　わたし
生きているの？

生まれ育まれ
そして育み
生きているけれど
　ときどきその環が
　　　怖くなる



続いてきたことの意味は
わたしの理由にはならない
　　　そう
　　　　　思って
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　も
笹百合
2012年09月11日(火) 18時30分13秒 公開
■この作品の著作権は笹百合さんにあります。無断転載は禁止です。
■作者からのメッセージ
坂本さん、最近見ないなぁ……。
見逃したのかしらん。

この作品の感想をお寄せください。
No.4  flllllllllllllllllllll反現代死fllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  評価：0点  ■2012-10-28 13:08  ID:te6yfYFg2XA
PASS 編集 削除
凡庸なので、
いったん書いたのを捨てて、
散歩したほーがいーのかもしれないなあ、。
No.3  笹百合  評価：0点  ■2012-09-19 17:37  ID:wYgzQgVuDaw
PASS 編集 削除
感想ありがとうございます。

＞蜂蜜さん
フレーバーはあまり得意ではないようでしたので、ストレートにしてみましたが、お口に合いませんでしたか。難しいものです。
ともあれ、私の詩は飾りやら仕掛けやらをとっぱらうとこんなものです。
追伸　なんとなくずれを感じたので再訪しました。よければ確認してくださいな。

＞うんたさん
一連は私にとっての原点ですね。ときどき立ち止まって振り返ると、思うことがいつも違います。
No.2  うんた  評価：30点  ■2012-09-17 01:28  ID:iIHEYcW9En.
PASS 編集 削除
読ませていただきました。
誰のために、何のためにわたし生きているの？
悲痛な叫びですね……。
No.1  蜂蜜  評価：20点  ■2012-09-16 17:42  ID:pCuxcbqH47Y
PASS 編集 削除
笹百合さん

こちらの勝手なリクエストに、半ばいやいやだとは思うのですが、お応えいただけたこと、大変にうれしく思っています。

こちらからも感想を書かせていただくことをもって、恩返し、とさせていただきたく存じます。

　　　＊＊＊

本作、拝読しました。

詩には殆ど無知、と思われ，感受性も乏しいかと思われる僕こと蜂蜜ですが、
特に際立った言葉の用法や、秀でた感性は、本作から、感じることは適いませんでした。

ちょっとストレート過ぎて，凡百と感じてしまいました。
特に冒頭ですね。

なんだか「尾崎豊（敬愛しています）」を思い出しました。

次回作に期待しています。
誠にありがとうございました。

PS　拙作『夢をついばむ』に頂いたご感想へ、作者レス（ごはんさんで言うところの感想返し？）しておきました。もし興味がおありであれば、ご参照下さいませ。
総レス数 4 　合計 50点

お名前(必須)
E-Mail(任意)
メッセージ
評価（必須）       削除用パス    Cookie　



<<戻る
感想管理PASSWORD
作品編集PASSWORD 　 編集 削除